At the 2025 Digital Shelf Summit, Chris Perry, chief learning officer and co-founder at firstmovr, and Jill Rourke, former director of omnichannel marketing for ecommerce at Wellness Pet, took to the stage to talk about something that rarely gets the spotlight in ecommerce strategy: shopper loyalty.
Not the points-based kind you slap on a receipt, but the kind that makes customers feel seen, heard, and genuinely appreciated.
In today’s always-on market, acquisition gets all the love. It’s easy to measure, exciting to report, and often gets the lion’s share of budget. But loyalty is where the real money is.
Loyal customers spend more, return more often, and bring new shoppers with them. They’re the ones posting about your products on Instagram, raving in group chats, and making your brand part of their daily routine.
And yet, only a third of brands prioritize loyalty over acquisition.
This session, “Til Death Do Us Cart: OmniShopper Loyalty That Lasts,” flipped the script, offering ecommerce leaders a new way to think about loyalty, through the lens of love languages. The result is a smarter, more human approach to building bonds that last longer than your average promo cycle.
Loyalty often gets overlooked. It’s one of those things that feels important but doesn’t always have a clear owner.
As Perry put it during the session: “Loyalty is kind of this given thing that we should care about, but most of us don’t think about, because nobody really owns it.”
You might have a customer relationship management (CRM) team or someone running a rewards program, but true shopper loyalty spans every part of the business, from ecommerce to media to in-store to IT. It’s a collective effort. And yet, when push comes to shove, many brands still default to prioritizing acquisition.
They do this because it’s easier to track. Plus, new customers are shiny and they make dashboards look good.
But as Perry pointed out, “Only a third of brands and retailers value loyalty over acquisition, meaning that 66% value acquisition first.”
But the irony is that the two go hand-in-hand.
“How do I get you to buy 14 times a year instead of 12? And then advocate for new people because your recommendation brought them in?” Perry says. “I didn’t even have to do acquisition, you did it for me.”
In other words, loyalty can be your best acquisition strategy.
Traditional loyalty programs can feel a bit stale. A points system here, a discount there … but do they actually build lasting emotional bonds with your shoppers?
That’s the question Perry and Rourke set out to answer in this session. Their big idea is that if brands want shoppers to stick with them, they need to speak their love language. It’s a more human, more dimensional way of looking at loyalty, built on three key axes:
This is the emotional versus tangible value your shopper gets from the experience.
“Most shoppers expect extrinsic benefits, like discounts, rewards, free shipping,” Perry says. “But the real differentiation happens with intrinsic benefits. I want to feel like I’m special. Like you know me.”
How much effort does it take for a shopper to engage?
As Rourke put it: “We want shoppers to be part of something, but we also need to make it easy for them to take that first step or even just feel rewarded for doing what they were already going to do.”
This causes the shopper to ask, “Is the loyalty experience personalized to me, or does it bring me into a shared community?”
With these dimensions in mind, Perry and Rourke introduced the eight loyalty love languages to help brands assess which types of loyalty might unlock the most meaningful connections with their customers.
“You don’t have to speak all eight,” Perry says. “But ask yourself: Are we speaking the right ones for our brand? Are we speaking enough of them? Or are we stuck repeating the same one and hoping it sticks?”
Perry and Rourke introduced the eight shopper love languages to help brands think beyond traditional tactics and instead create layered, personalized, and deeply human experiences that keep shoppers coming back.
The first love language refers to the simple, tangible rewards that apply to everyone. Basically, you don’t have to do anything extra to earn them.
“This is probably what everyone is doing,” Rourke says. “It’s the entry point.”
Think of Target’s Circle rewards or “Subscribe & Save” discounts. These are easy-to-understand perks that reward loyalty just for showing up.
This love language rewards shoppers for hitting milestones, spending thresholds, or climbing tiers in a program.
“You might be able to encourage me to do a little more,” Perry says. “If I buy $50 [worth of items], you give me this extra. If I hit $100, I get even more.”
P&G on Amazon does this by offering “buy 4, save $10” deals that encourage larger transactions. Target’s “gift card with purchase” is another example that drives both spending and repeat behavior.
This one’s all about those little unexpected moments that make customers feel special.
Chewy nailed this by surprising pet parents with custom portraits and even bouquets when pets passed away.
“It was creepy and awesome at the same time,” Perry says. “But what a cool way to engage me.”
This love language recognizes and rewards individual effort in a personalized way. For example, Dr. Pepper’s Pepper Perks gives loyal fans first dibs on new flavors, while Zappos offers extra points for a customer review (even if it’s negative).
This love language makes shoppers feel good about “doing good”, even though all they’re doing is buying what they were already going to buy.
For example, Bombas and Tom’s both built their brands on buy-one-give-one models, while Walmart’s Fight Hunger campaign donates meals when shoppers buy select products.
This invites shoppers to take action for a greater cause, like recycling, take-back programs, or donating through purchase.
“If I do more, I help more,” Perry says. “That’s where it gets powerful.”
For example, Wellness Pet’s Give the Gift of Wellness encouraged shoppers to buy a bag of pet food, which triggered a donation to a pet in need.
Some shoppers want to feel smarter, more informed, and more capable, and this particular love language helps them do that by supporting them and affirming their choices.
This might manifest as a skincare brand offering personalized routines based on past purchases, or a cooking brand sending exclusive recipe ideas based on customer purchases.
Creating a shared identity between a brand and the shopper is loyalty at its most human.
“I want to feel like I’m part of something,” Rourke says. “Like I belong.”
Sephora’s Beauty Insider is a good example of this. It offers the perfect blend of perks and community by offering exclusive events, birthday gifts, and member-only groups.
One of the biggest takeaways from the session is that brands need to stop treating loyalty like an afterthought or a side project.
“Growth is the result of a strategy, not the strategy itself,” Perry says.
If growth is your goal (and let’s be honest, it probably is), loyalty needs to be part of the actual plan, not just the outcome.
And today, where the customer journey happens across so many different channels, the brands that win are the ones that build incremental behavior, not just repeat behavior.
This means getting shoppers to buy more often, spend more when they do, and advocate for you to their networks.
Personalization is a major lever of loyalty, and artificial intelligence (AI) is opening up new ways to personalize at scale. Whether it’s tailoring rewards to individual behavior or surprising someone with a moment of delight, shoppers are far more likely to stick around when they feel seen and understood.
“Most shoppers don’t feel special or recognized,” Perry says. “They get the same thing as everyone else, even when they’re in the ‘VIP’ tier.”
The solution here is to think beyond loyalty “programs” and start thinking about loyalty strategy, right from the top of the funnel down to post-purchase.
“Why isn’t that charity program on your [product detail page] (PDP)? Why isn’t it in your campaign creative?” Rourke says.
Great loyalty goes beyond a simple landing page; it shows up in your media, your messaging, your packaging, your social presence. It’s a full-funnel opportunity.
Here are four takeaways that ecommerce leaders can implement now to bolster loyalty offerings.
Loyalty is a relationship. And, like any good relationship, it takes intention, attention, and care. Yes, it can involve points, perks, and discounts, but the real magic happens when your customers feel understood, valued, and more deeply connected to your brand.
“You don’t have to speak all eight love languages,” Perry says. “But you need to know which ones matter for your shoppers, and speak them well.”